Last day of PK reflecting on how I got here

On a hike through the Tagalalang rice fields 5 minutes from my PK.   

Today I left my panchakarma after 28 days. FB just reminded me that 3 years ago today I made my first appearance out with girl friends after officially breaking off my engagement once I learned that my fiancé was gay and had been exploring his truth outside of the constructs of our relationship. The fact that he'd been cheating on me is something I haven't shared on social media before... I've told myself it is out of respect for him... but if I'm honest it's also because I've held shame and guilt around the experience. I'm finally ready to let go of that shame and share about my experiences. 

It's amazing to think of where I was then versus where I am now. I knew I was going to be ok and felt sure in my ability to move on, even relieved to be out of what had, unbeknownst to me, become a codependent and emotionally abusive  relationship...

I felt simultaneously broken. I was hurting. The stories I'd used to define myself ('fiance', 'in love', 'strong', 'in an honest and caring / special relationship') no longer seemed to apply. My self worth was so tied into my relationship that deep down a part of me shattered when the relationship ended and I began to build walls around myself/ my heart.  Then a deeper truer part of me started to awaken.

Today, 3 years later, I'm finally honestly exploring and healing the wounds left over from that experience and finding gratitude for the "failure" of my relationship and the experiences I had. It was a huge (if not the biggest) influencer in pushing me onto the path of self awareness and autonomy.  I leave my panchakarma today with a sense that, while my work is not nearly over, I'm on the right path!

Feeling happy and excited to continue on this journey post PK!